How to be Your Authentic Self in a Relationship

Being authentic in your relationships parades that you possess self love, that you believe who you are as an individual. When prioritizing authenticity in your relationships, it is necessary to honour each other’s personal needs, thoughts, emotions, values, traumas and goals. By doing so, you’re creating a stable foundation for your relationships to flourish as opposed to failing due to the lack of true self and communication. Being your authentic Self in a relationship is the true meaning of intimacy.

Here are 10 ways to be authentic while in a relationship:

Know Who You Are

Being authentic begins with being in tune with yourself. Self reflection is the start into an authentic life. Taking the time to self reflect on your wants and needs will set the tone of a healthy relationship.

Accept The Other Party For Who They Are

Many people think they can sculpt their significant other into the person that they desire them to be. Instead of coercing someone onto a path that is not theirs, accept them for who they are unconditionally — including their flaws. They may already be living authentically and are content with who they are. Understand that the only person you can possibly change is yourself.

Define Your Own Relationship Without Comparisons

Social media gives you insight into other’s relationships. You see photos of two people who seem to be in the perfect union, however, you are only seeing the moments that they have chosen to display. Those curated images may leave you plagued with thoughts such as, “Why doesn’t my partner and I do these things?”. However, the proper question to ask yourself is, “Do we WANT to do what others are doing ?”. Instead, remind yourself of yourself and your significant other’s true desires and celebrate the authenticity you share between one another.

Set Goals Together

People in relationships thrive when they are working towards a goal. When noting what you have achieved together, both of you will receive a psychological boost. Reassess your goals every so often together to make sure they have not become overwhelming, and adjust accordingly as time passes. Being authentic and genuine with one another about the accomplishments you wish to achieve will provide a clear path to success.

Honour Time For Self While in a Relationship

Having alone time to reflect in a relationship is a significant part of the intimacy equation. It is vital to carve moments and time out for ourselves when in a partnership. The beauty of self reflecting is returning to your significant other with a renewed sense of Self. It truly makes the time you share as a couple more intimate and special when you are self aware. After all, you are unable to be the best you can be for someone else if you’re not your best Self.

Identify Your Own Personal Feelings

The ability to effectively identify and articulate feelings, whether negative or positive, is detrimental to being in an authentic relationship. In our culture, remaining aloof, trying to avoid vulnerability is the normal. People also minimize their feelings towards their partner as well in fear of rejection and embarrassment. By doing so, you and your partner will experience major relational loss. Confidence, strength and vulnerability are not opposing forces. Choosing to not be authentic with your own feelings, within and in your relationship, can halt growing closer to one another. Dare to express your joys, quirks, triggers and affections. Those are some of the most integral building blocks of a close relationship.

Cultivate Your Relationship Based on What You Both Want as a Couple

Progress in life is all about reinvention. Discussing the tone you would like to set as a couple will set healthy boundaries and assist in reaching your desired values of your relationship. Change is something that requires daily dedication. After reflecting as a couple and beginning your journey to the relationship you both desire, it is also important to reflect on the process itself. Reinventing your relationship once the tone is set is not a “quick fix”. It is deliberate practice until you both realize you are where you want to be in your relationship.

Protect Your Boundaries

It is extremely common to be empathetic towards your partner while they explore their thoughts, emotions, and their energies. Although, if you are an empath you most likely identify with the feelings of others and absorb their feelings or mood as your own. It is essential that you know yourself and what you are and are unable to handle. Effective boundaries with your partner helps you set limits based on your own needs and energy levels. This way you can limit your exposure to their potential draining energy. It is important to acknowledge that you are to separate individuals.

Stop Assuming

When one assumes in a relationship, unnecessary grief and arguing takes place due to lack of communication and creating your own conclusions without clarification. Allow your partner the benefit of the doubt and acknowledge that sometimes there is “no hidden meaning”. Addressing your own insecurities will also decrease the assumptions that you create out of fear. We are all made differently; if you work on clarifying instead of assuming, you will be able to move closer together in your relationship and find a language you both speak and understand.

Enjoy Yourselves

Have fun and try visualizing life with less severity. If being able to find joy during challenging times in the relationship is difficult to you, try reminiscing on a time that you and your partner enjoyed together and allow those positive memories and thoughts back into your soul. Naturally after some time, the positive vibrational energy will return and you will be able to practice that strategy in any other future hardships you two may face as a couple.

When we live in the idea that we are misunderstood, unhappy, and lost in our relationships, that is when we lack authenticity. Unfortunately we may find ourselves placing blame on our partner due to this. Relationships give us many valuable experiences and teach us various lessons of compromise, self expression, boundaries, love and empathy. Every relationship we have gives us the opportunity for ascension and growth. Relationships are designed to challenge us with the purpose of promoting us to heal and align with our purpose. We would all love to believe that relationships only contain happiness and joy, however we would be quite naive to believe that such a powerful bond between two individuals, does not experience grief and challenges. Although, when you accept who you and your partner are, truly and genuinely, you then become closer to achieving the purpose of your soul and a key to a successful relationship, authenticity.